he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
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