She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
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