So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
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Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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