with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
