At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize