You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize