If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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