I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
