i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
