This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
