they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
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