Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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