Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
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