They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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