My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
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You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize