K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
