ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
