i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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