i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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