Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
