He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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