Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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