Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Can you repeat that, but with context?
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