Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
