im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's blow job season.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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