Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
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