Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
