I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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