Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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