Swine flu. Run for my life!
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize