South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
