help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
