Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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