Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
40s are totally the cure
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
