The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
