youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
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we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
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Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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