Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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