There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
You can't just leave with hair like that
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
