Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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