Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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