i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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