tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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