why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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