I wanna bring you to show and tell
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
He has the fingertips of a God
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