i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
