No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
