Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
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