Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
