I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
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