dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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