Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
