I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
