Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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