she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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