Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
