Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
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Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
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He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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