the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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