Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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