DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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