Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
