your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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